I'm Gonna love you through it
by BellaRoslin52
Summary: This is another personal one for me. A Dear friend was recently diagonsed with Breast Cancer. It got me to thinking. I hope all of you like it. Also to my Amazing Beta Jen for all of her help with this. She really opened my eyes to alot of things. She is an amazing beta!
1. Chapter 1

She had been pacing around her office waiting on the news that could possibly change her life. It seemed like an eternity waiting on the doctor's office to call.

She sat at her desk and stared at the mound of paperwork that she needed to go through and sign. Sharon just couldn't seem to bring herself to do any of it.

Andy had been watching her the entire time and was starting to get worried. Sharon had been unusually quiet at lunch and now she seemed to be on another planet. She seemed fine when he picked her up this morning for work; hecouldn't understand what happened to change her mood.

He got up and walked to her office and

gently knocked on the door.

"Come in," she answered never looking up to see who it was.

"Sharon is everything ok?" He asked as he took a seat in front of her desk, she looked at him and he could see the tears in her eyes. "What's wrong? He asked, puzzled.

"I'm just waiting on a phone call. It's

nothing to worry about Andy."

He looked at her "Evidently it is, if you're sitting here looking like you could bust into tears at any moment."

She looked at her watch and stood up and looked at him, "I am going to head home it's getting late."

He watched as she walked out of her office.

As she made her way out of the murder room, Sharon stopped to tell everyone that she was leaving. Without further comment, she walked out of the room.

Everyone was left staring at Andy. He shrugged at them. He was as puzzled as they were. "I have no idea what's going on with her guys," he said as he sat down at his desk to finish up his paperwork, "but I will find out."

MCMMCMCMCMCMCMCMC

Upon arriving home, Sharon stopped in the living room to check the answering machine. While she waited for the messages to play, she made her way into the kitchen where she pour a glass of wine. She was lost in deep thought as she walked back to the couch. Sharon sat down on the couch and placed her phone on the table next to her. She noticed that she had several missed calls from Andy, she didn't feel like talking to anyone at this particular moment.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the phone ringing beside her. Sharon looked at the display. She froze upon seeing the number. she saw that it was the doctor's office. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she answered the phone.

"Mrs. Raydor, this is Jessica from Doctor Smith's office. He would like for you to come into the office in the morning so that he can go over your test results with you."

"Ok I will see him in the morning." Sharon hung up the phone and let the tears fall.

As she sat there she thought back on her life all of the happy times and all of the hard times. This couldn't possibly be the end. She sat there as her nerves were starting to get to her. How was she supposed to get through the rest of the night. She started to feel sick to her stomach and her head was starting to hurt as she rubbed her temple hoping it would ease up.

She made her way to the bathroom as she looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes were red from all of the tears that she had shed. She decided to go bed.

As she walked into her bedroom, this was the one place that she felt the safest, she could shut the world out and just be alone with her thoughts. As she slipped into bed, her thoughts went back to her conversation with Andy in her office earlier in the day. She really needed to talk to him and tell him everything that she was going through.


	2. Chapter 2

As the sun shined through the window of her bedroom. Sharon sat up in bed. She sighed heavily as she made her way into the bathroom begin her morning routine. Once she was done with that she made her way to the kitchen. She was making her coffee when she heard someone knocking on the front door.

She looked thru the peep hole and saw Andy standing on the other side of the door. She opened the door; "Hi." she said as he stood there waiting for her to invite him.

"Hi." He replied as she moved and let him come in. He stopped just inside the door and waited for her close it as he wrapped her in a tight hug "We need to talk."

She hugged him tighter "yeah I know" she said as she let go of him and moved over to the sofa and sat down Andy following her. As they sat down he took her hand in his and looked at her. He cleared his throat.

"Sharon I know something going on and it's bothering you, She sighed heavily as she sat up straighter.

"Your right there is something bothering me Andy.

"You know that I went and had a mammogram a few days ago,

"Yes you told me about it"

"Did something happen?"

"The doctor's office called yesterday.

"The doctor wants me to come in to discuss the results with him" tomorrow.

"And honestly I'm scared out of my mind Andy;

He felt her grip on his hand tighten as she spoke.

"Sharon, Sweetheart I understand completely that your scared it's a scary situation that your dealing with; "But you should really wait to see what the doctor has to say. Sharon looked down at their hands and sighed; "Your right Andy."

She looked into his dark eyes and saw the concern and love in them. "Is that what you were so upset about at work yesterday and why you wouldn't answer my phone calls?" He asked puzzled. "Yes and I am sorry for that." she sighed sadly.

She looked up to see him giving her an understanding smile;

"Sharon you can't shut me out every time something bad happens."

"I told you that I completely committed to you and this relationship."

"I'm not going to leave you when something doesn't go right;

"You know me better than that."

She listened to him intently as he spoke.

"I love you and I will always be here to help you.

"You don't have to ever wonder or doubt that fact."

"I'm sorry for being so short with you and for shutting you out Andy,

"I'm just so used to dealing with things on my own that it's hard for me to depend on anyone to help.

"I know that I should have came to you with this yesterday.

"But I just fell back into my old way of always taking care of myself."

She watched his face as he gave her a sad smile, she knew that she had hurt him and she was truly sorry for that. She just hoped that Andy understood.

"It's ok Sharon you don't have to apologize." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he felt her snuggle into his side as they sat on the sofa.

After a few minutes he looked at her,

"Sweetheart look at me for a minute, She looked up to see him staring at her. She could see the hurt in his eyes,

He took her hand in his again. "I want to tell you something." "Andy what is it?"

"I know that you are a strong, independent woman, and that you have had to rely on yourself for everything.

"But I promise you right here and now that no matter what the doctor says tomorrow, "You will not have to go through any of this alone.

"I am here for you and I always will be"

"I'm not going anywhere I am in this all the way." He looked at her and saw the tears falling down her cheeks as he gently brushed them away with his thumbs.

He wrapped his arms around her again as she laid her head on his shoulder he felt her trembling he knew that she was crying all he wanted to do was to just hold her until she felt better.

After a few minutes she sat up;

"Andy will you go with me tomorrow?" He looked at her speechless for a moment.

"Absolutely," he said as he hugged her tighter.

"How about we get to work before they all start to wonder what happen to us."

He said as he stood up and made his way to the door.

As they rode the elevator down to the parking garage, Sharon felt a little better about having finally opened up to Andy and for letting him take care of her. She felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.

Now she had a whole new issue to face. But this time she wouldn't be facing it alone.

How was she going to explain this to the rest of the team? She thought about that as they made their way to the office.

Once they arrived they made their way into the murder room as everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at them.

She could feel Andy's hand on the small of her back as she walked toward her office.

She stopped suddenly and he bumped into her causing her to laugh.

She turned around to address her team; "Everyone I just wanted to apologize for being so short with all of you yesterday."

She looked around to make sure it was just them before she continued;

"I had a mammogram done a few days ago. and after I got home last night the doctor's office called;

"I have an appointment with him tomorrow to discuss the results." They all looked at her, no one spoke for seemed like an eternity.

Finally Amy spoke up, "So what does that mean? she looked at her confused.

"Right now I don't know, "I won't know until I meet with the doctor tomorrow." An eerie silence fell over the room as they all sat there absorbing what they were just told.

They all looked at her and she could see the sadness and confusion in their eyes. Sharon finally spoke again as they all looked at her;

"I just wanted all of you to hear it from me." As she stood there watching all of them; Amy stood up and looked at her,

"Captain if you need anything I'm here." "Thank you Amy." Each one of them gave her a hug and told her that they would be there if she needed them, Even Provenza hugged her as well which shocked her and Andy both.

Andy had been watching all of them. He was touched at how protective they were of her and how they had all grown to love and care about her as much as he did.

After a few minutes Sharon finally spoke again; "Ok let's get back to work we still have a murder to solve."

They all looked at each other and then turned their attention back to their work.

She made her way toward her office she stopped and patted Andy's shoulder before walking into her office and shutting the door behind her..

As she sat down at her desk she thought about the last twenty four hours and how her life could possibly change; But she knew that for once in her life she wouldn't be going through it by herself…

The rest the morning went smoothly she felt better for having told her team what was going on. .

As they busied themselves with their work she stood in her office watching them occasionally she would make eye contact with Provenza and he would give her slight nod and go back to his paperwork.

They had all been stopping by Sharon's office throughout the day to let her know if she needed anything to let them know.

She smiled as they all came and went out of her office finally leaving her alone with her thoughts. Andy had been sitting at his desk watching all of them.

He was amazed at how far they had all come from when she first took over the Dept.. They truly did care about her and he hoped that she saw that they would always have her back no matter what the circumstances.


	3. Chapter 3

He made his way to her office door he saw her sitting at her desk holding her head in her hands.

"Sharon sweetheart everything ok?" He asked as he made his way around her desk and knelt down next to her. She took a deep breath and collected herself before she responded to him. She cupped his cheek with her hand.

"Yes I'm fine honey no need to worry."

He looked at his watch. "Well it's time for you to go to your appointment."

"Are you ready to go?" He asked as he watched her smile fade.

She stood up and looked at him as he laid his hand on her shoulder. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

"Sharon everything is going to be ok."

She looks at him the tears building up in her eyes "I hope so Andy." I hope so" she said as she walked around him and out of her office. She stopped in the murder room to speak to everyone before she left.

"Lt. Provenza" you are in charge until we get back."

"Yes ma'am" he nodded in agreement.

They all wished her good luck as her and Andy made their way to the elevator. Once they were alone in the elevator she wrapped her arm around Andy's waist and he held her as they rode the elevator in silence.

They made it to her car and he opened the passenger side door for her. She looked at him a moment; "I can still drive Andy" He smiled at her.

"I never said you couldn't Sharon I would like to drive you if you don't mind." He said as he grabbed her keys out of her hand and made his way to the driver's side and slid into the seat. The drive to the Doctor's office was silent one.

Sharon sat in the passenger seat staring out the window watching the city go by lost in her thoughts. They arrived at the doctor's office and made their way up the receptionist.

"Hi I'm Ms. Raydor I have an appointment with Dr. Smith this morning."

"Yes ma'am Ms. Raydor have a seat and the doctor will be with you shortly."

They sat in the waiting room for what seem like an eternity.

Andy could see Sharon was fidgeting in her seat. "Sweetheart everything is going to be alright."

She turned to look at him but didn't say anything. He held his hand in hers.

"Ms. Raydor" this way ma'am the nurse said as they both followed her into the doctor's private office.

The nurse spoke up "My name is Jessica." I'll be outside if you need anything before the doctor comes in.

Sharon looked at her and gave her a sad smile.

"The doctor will be in shortly to talk to you." The nurse said as she walked out of the room.

Andy could see that she was trying to be calm but he also knew her enough to know that she was screaming on the inside. He reached over and grabbed her hand and held it tightly in his. Andy finally broke the silence.

"Sharon sweetheart look at me." She turned her head to see him smiling at her. "No matter what the doctor has to say I will be here and we will get through this together." "You aren't alone in this I promise you."

A few moments later the doctor walked into the room. "Hi Ms. Raydor "I'm Doctor Smith."

"I wanted to meet with you and discuss the results of your last mammogram."

"I'm afraid that there are several tumors in your left breast." We have caught them early enough to stop them from spreading and with any luck we will be able to treat them without you having to have surgery."

She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her body as she sat there and listen to the doctor. It felt like everything around her was a blur.

Sharon felt Andy gently squeeze her hand.

"Sharon honey you ok?" Andy could see her processing all of the things the doctor had just told her and he could also see the tears falling down her cheeks.

Andy looked at the doctor; "Can we have a few mins alone?"

"Sure thing I'll be outside setting up some appointments for her."

The doctor got up and walked out of the room leaving them alone; Andy stood and wrapped her in his arms and held her as she finally let the tears fall. He rubbed her back trying to comfort her as continued to cry.

She finally gathered herself after a few mins and looked up to see his dark chocolate eyes staring back at her. "Andy what I am going to do?" She asked as she felt her knees start to buckle under her as he helped her sit down.

"Sharon all you can do is take it one day at a time and just keep fighting."

She held his hand in hers as she took a deep breath trying to regain her composure.

After some time the doctor came back into the room.

"Ms Raydor I have got you set up to start Chemotherapy starting next week."

"I want to give you time to absorb all of this and gather your thoughts and to let you speak to your family before we start hitting it hard."

"Thank you Doctor Smith" She stood up and shook his hand before walking out of the office.

As they made their way back out into the waiting room she stopped and made sure the nurse had all the information that she would need as they walked out of the building she leaned into his side as they walked back to the car. After they got into the car he looked at her.

"What do you want to do now?" "Do you want to go to work or home?"

She looked at him with tear filled eyes "I'd like to go home."

"Okay home it is then."

Before he started the car he sent Provenza a quick text message and he called to let Taylor know that they were taking rest of the day off and if he needed him to just call.

She sent a text message to Emily and to Ricky asking them to come home for the weekend that she needed to talk to them. As they made their way to her condo her thoughts and concerns went to Rusty.

She knew that she shouldn't keep something like this from him but it would be better for him to wait until his siblings were there so he would have them to lean on.

As she stared out the window she thought to herself how could this be happening now? She was finally in a happy place in her life she had just recently found Andy and Rusty still needed her in his life.

But how was she going to explain this to them; Her babies the ones that depend on her and need her. The ones that she loved with everything she had. She thought about it and back on her life as she stared out the window on the way home watching the world go by around her.


	4. Chapter 4

Sharon was dreading having to have this conversation with her children. But she couldn't just keep this from them either she had to tell them.

She was sitting on the couch when Andy followed by Rusty and his brother and sister walked into the condo. Andy had went to pick them up at the airport so she could have few minutes to herself to collect her thoughts before talking to her children.

Rusty was the first one to speak. "Mom everything ok?" he asked as Andy placed his keys in the tray by the door she moved her legs so he could sit down on the couch next to her while his siblings stood there staring at the scene before them.

She got up and made her way over to Emily Hugging her tightly. Then she wrapped Ricky in a tight hug as she walked them over the couch.

"I have something that I need to tell all of you and I want to tell all of you together."

They all looked at each other puzzled. Emily looked at her mother who was looking more tired than usual.. "Mom everything ok?" Emily asked as they all sat down on the couch with their mother.

She swallowed the lump in her throat as she began to talk. "I went a few days ago and had a mammogram done." They sat in silence and listened to her as she continued.

"The doctor called the other day and asked me to come into the office so that we could talk about the results." As she continued she could feel the tears falling down her cheeks as she held Emily's hands in hers.

"Andy and I went to the doctors office with me and the doctor confirmed that I do indeed have breast cancer." It was like someone had knocked all the air out of her body as she looked at her children while they processed what she just told them.

Emily spoke first; "You what?" You have breast cancer?" She looked at her baby girl as she spoke again.

"Yes I do" she said as she looked into her daughters dark brown eyes. Emily hugged her mother tightly as she held her daughter she could feel her shaking and she knew that she was crying. She pulled away and looked at her daughter.

"Don't cry baby." "I plan on fighting this with every ounce of energy I have."

Emily looked at her brothers and then back at her mother. "What type of treatment did the doctor suggest?"

"He wants me to start chemo next week." He is hopeful that we have caught it early enough. She looked at her sons who at this point hadn't spoken .She was worried about them.

"Rusty, Ricky" "You guys ok?" she asked worried. Ricky looked up to see the tears falling down his mother's face. He just sat there thinking about everything his mother had just told him. He got up and walked out on the balcony.

Andy started to follow him but sharon stood up. "I'll go talk to him Andy." she spoke softly as she walked by him and out to balcony. She gently laid a hand on his shoulder. "Ricky honey." he couldn't bring himself to look at her.

How could she be so calm when she is so sick. He thought to himself. She finally spoke a little louder; "Ricky look at me please." He looked at his mother she looked a little more tired then he had ever seen her and she was starting to look pale.

"Mom I can't talk about this right now." He said waving a hand at her. "I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this." She sighed as she stepped away from her son. "When you are ready I'm here." She turned and walked back into the condo leaving her son with his thoughts.

She made her way back into the living room rusty stood up and turned and walked down the hall to his old room leaving his sister, mother and Andy in the living room.

"Mom do you want me to go talk to him." Emily Asked.

"No baby I'll go talk to him" Thank you though she said as she gently kissed her little girl on the cheek as she walked around her.

"Sharon do you want me to come with you?" Andy asked worried.

"No I would like to handle this." She smiled sadly at him. "I love you both I'll be back in a little bit"

She walked down the hall to rusty's room, The door was standing open she gently knocked on it.

"Honey can I come in?" She asked Hesitantly. He looked up at her she could see that he was crying as she sat down on the bed and took him in her arms and tried to comfort him. She could feel him trembling as she held him.

She gently rubbed circles on his shoulders as she let him cry. He finally looked up at her.

"You want to talk about it rusty?" He looked at her eyes red from crying.

"What am I going to do if something happens to you mom?"

"Rusty nothing is going to happen to me." "Yes I'm sick and it's going to be a rough road but I am confident that I will beat this."

"You DON'T KNOW THAT MOM." He was starting get a little louder than he realized.

"Rusty honey calm down." He looked at his mother and he lowered his voice as he sat trying to get control of his emotions. He sat down on the bed and held her hand as she started to talk again.

"I know things are going to get rough around here." but I promise you this, "I'm not going anywhere honey."

"Not for a very long time that is." she smiled sadly at her son. She knew out of all of her children he would be the one that would take this the hardest. After everything that they had been through together she knew that it would hit him the hardest.

"I want to help you and be here for you as much as I can Mom." She could see the worry in his eyes.

"I know you do honey." She started to get up off his bed she stumbled a little and he walked over to her and helped her down the hall.

Andy had been talking to Emily when he saw rusty walking down the hall with his arms wrapped around his mother.

"She ok he asked slightly worried?" He grabbed her hand and helped her sit on the couch.

"I'm fine Andy." "I promise I just got a little dizzy when I stood up it's nothing."

"Nothing!" "How can you say it's nothing?" Rusty spoke up, "She's telling the truth Andy it wasn't anything to worry about." She just got stood a little faster than she should have and she got a little dizzy."

"We all know how clumsy mom can be at times." he smirked trying to lighten the moment.

"I am not clumsy thank you!" She glared at her son as she smacked his arm as he walked back to his room and shut the door behind him.

She looked up at Andy. "He's taking this the hardest I think." Sharon said as she leaned back on the couch as Emily laid her head on her shoulder.

"Yeah I think you may be right about that sharon." he said as Ricky walked back into the condo. He walked over to his mother and knelt down in front of her.

"Mom if you ever need me or you need anything I want you to call me immediately." Where had her little boy gone he had grown up on her and become a wonderful, caring young man that she was very proud.

"I will honey I promise."

"I'll be fine honey, "I don't want any of you to worry about me I am going to be just fine." She looked up to see Rusty coming down the hall he stopped just before he got to the door and looked at his mother.

"I got to get out of here and clear my head for a little bit." I'll be back later as he walked out the door letting it slam behind him. Andy made his way to the door to try and catch him, "let him go Andy;" he looked at her as she smiled at him.

"He's got a lot of things to process right now and he'll be ok." Just then they all heard the door open again rusty came walking back in the condo.

"Rusty you ok?" she asked as she met him at the door. "I'm sorry mom I shouldn't have left like that." she hugged him and walked with him to the couch and sat down as he laid he head on her shoulder and Emily laid hers on the other. This is what she needed right now was to be surround by her children and the love of her life.

Her thoughts turned to Andy and what this would mean for their relationship,

He had been so thoughtful and caring the last few days. She felt incredibly guilty about him having to deal with this. She knew that it wasn't fair to him and that he shouldn't have to deal with this.

After a few mins she looked at her children who had fallen asleep snuggled into her side both of them had their hands wrapped around their mothers and she noticed Ricky sitting in the floor at her feet with his head in her lap.

She felt Emily stirring first followed by Ricky. " hey sleepy heads she said as they both stretched and yawned. "We're sorry mom we didn't mean to do that.

"Oh" It's alright I actually enjoyed having all of you snuggled up with me on the couch. She looked around the room and noticed that Andy had left. "Where's Andy?" She asked as she looked around the room.

Ricky looked at her, "he said something about giving you sometime alone with us and about going to pick up dinner." "He said he'd be back shortly."

Ricky looked at his watch, "that was about an hour ago mom."

"Excuse me a minute guys." "I need to make a phone call." She got up and made her way to her bedroom and shut the door behind her. She dialed his number it went straight to voicemail. She left him a message and walked back into the living room with her children.

A Few minutes later Andy returned with dinner as Emily and rusty set the table she looked at Andy.

"Andy honey can you come with me for moment." He looked at her and followed her into the bedroom.

"Sharon honey what's wrong?" He asked as she shut the door behind him and wrapped her arms around him and held onto him as if she was hanging on for dear life.

"Thank you." She whispered in his ear as he held her.

"What for Sharon?" He asked puzzled. She looked into his dark brown eyes and saw nothing but love in them.

"For being here for me and for helping me these last few days."

"Sharon my love I told you that I would always be here for you," and "That I would always be."

She began to cry again. "honey don't cry" He said as he tired to sooth and comfort her she only cried harder.

He walked them over to the edge of the bed and sat down and held her as she cried. After a few minutes she regained her composure.

"Feel better?" He asked as he rubbed her back.

"Yeah a little bit. She sighed as she held her head in her hands.

"How about we go and eat with the kids they are probably wondering what happen to us by now." She sat up and wrapped her arm around his neck and hugged him.

"I love you Andy" He hugged her tightly then he helped her up as they made their way to the door.

He whispered, "I love you too." as they made their way into the dining room Emily looked up from setting the table. "Everything ok mom?" Sharon smiled at her girl.

"Yes honey everything is ok." "Let's eat I'm starving." As they sat there eating and talking about the treatment that she would be receiving next week she had a sinking feeling that she was in for one hell of a fight. She just hoped that she had the strength and courage to face what was about to come her way.


	5. Chapter 5

The past week had flown by she was happy that she had finally talked to her kids about what was going on and even more thankful that she had Andy by her side.

Although he was there for her she knew that they had long road ahead of them and it wouldn't be easy. She had an appointment next week to start her chemo treatments and the more she thought about it the more it scared the heck out of her.

Lost in her own thoughts she never heard Andy calling her name he startled her when he sat down next to her and grabbed her hand.

"Sharon honey." She looked at him she could see the concern and sadness in his eyes. "You ok?" He asked as he wrapped his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. She sighs heavily trying to find the right words to say. She has kept so much bottled up that she feels like she is about to explode.

He can sense that she starting to over think things again… He hugs her into his side a little tighter as he kisses her temple. "Honey what's wrong?" He asked worried.

She looked into his dark eyes and sighed as she tried to gather up the courage to tell him how scared she actually was.

"You know you don't have to say a word." "I know how scared you are about all of this, and "that is completely understandable." He moved a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked at him with tears in her eyes.

He cupped her chin with his hand, "Hey look at me Sharon."

She looked up to see him smiling at her, you aren't going through this alone." She smiled at him and sighed she looked down at their hands.

"I know that Andy and I am grateful to you for that." "I don't know if I could do this by myself." He looked at her the lump in this throat growing bigger he was having a hard time thinking of what to say to her. He stood up and turned the radio on and let the music drown out silence.

After a few mins of listening to the music, she looked at him, "Can I ask you question?" He looked down at her, "Of course, She sat up and looked at him. "Will you go with me to the doctor next week while I start my treatments?"

He looked at her for a moment, "Of course I will Sharon you don't even have to ask that question." "I will be by your side the entire time." he whispered as she laid her head back on his shoulder.

He looked at his watch, "It's getting late honey, "Let's go to bed we have an early day tomorrow." He said as he led her down the hall toward the bedroom.

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The week and weekend had flown by and she was up before her alarm went off. She had been up and down all pacing and worrying about what was going to be happening to her today. She looked over to see Andy staring at her. "Sharon honey come here." She walked back over to the bed and sat down taking his hand in hers and looking into his dark brown eyes.

"I know your nervous and scared but I'll be there with you. She smiled and leaned down to kiss him as he wrapped his arms around her and rolled her over onto the bed and began kissing her down her neck. She giggled as he started tickling her as she wiggled to get away from causing his hold on her to get tighter.. "Andy let me go!" "We don't have time for this." She said as she stared giggling even more.. "We always have time for this." He said as he continued his assault on her neck. She finally got up the strength to get away from him leaving him laughing on the bed as she made her way to the shower.

"Your no fun!" He yelled as she started to get into the shower. After a few mins she emerged from the bathroom to find him waiting for her with a cup of coffee and a smile. "Thank you honey," She said as she gave him a light kiss on the lips as she made her way down the hall. As he watched her walk away he couldn't help but stare at her she gorgeous. After a few more mins of staring at her he came back to his senses and went about his morning routine. A little while letter he joined her in the kitchen and they ate breakfast in silence and made their way out the door. The drive to the doctor's office didn't take as long as they thought. They made their way inside she could feel her nerves starting to get the better of her. Andy could tell that she was scared he placed his hand on her back she leaned into his touch and she felt a little better about the situation.

As they sat in the waiting room she didn't say to much she was so lost in her thoughts that she never seen or heard her son enter the waiting room.

She looked up to see Rusty walking toward them. He hugged his mother as she held onto him she whispered in his ear. "I thought you were at school?" He stepped back and smiled at her before responding, "You are more important than school mom."

"I know how nervous and scared you are and I want to be here for you." She hugged her son again, "I love you" She whispered as she let him go and they sat down waiting for the nurse to come get her.

It seemed like an eternity waiting for the nurse to call her back. She had been reading a magazine but it wasn't that interesting to begin with. She was trying not to show how nervous she was and she was failing miserably at it.

After a few minutes the nurse walked out into the waiting room and "Sharon you can follow me." She stood and followed the nurse to the door and looked back at Andy and Rusty sitting side by side. "Can they come with me?" The nurse look at sharon then at the two men. "Yes ma'am they can if they want to."

Andy and rusty both stood up and walked toward her. "Are you sure?''They both asked in unison. She looked between them and laughed "Yes I'm sure now come you two!" She smirked as they both followed her . The nurse looked at Andy and Rusty "You two gentlemen can wait in the exam room if you want to while we finish up out here."

"Okay Sharon step up on the scale so I can get your weight and height measurements." She stepped on the scale and the nurse got all the info she needed. She stepped off the scale and follow the nurse into the exam room.

The nurse smiled at her "I'm going to take your blood pressure." After a few mins the nurse looked at her, "Well your blood pressure is normal which is good. After a few mins the nurse stood up and started to leave the room.

"Okay Sharon" hang out here for a few minutes and "I'll be back to draw some blood and get an IV tube started that way it will make getting your treatments a little easier." With that she left them all sitting there staring at each other.

Sharon sat on the exam table and sighed.. Andy reached over and took her hand in his "What's wrong honey?" he asked as he stroked her hand with his thumb. She gave him a sad smile and sighed again. She stroked his face with her hand as she looked into his dark eyes. "Oh nothing, "Just thinking." she said as she smiled at him. He sat up a little straighter "About what?" She looked at him she could see the concern and sadness in his eyes. She held his hand a little tighter she finally spoke. "About us, About this, everything I guess." he stood up and wrapped his arms around her he knew that he didn't have to ask anything else that all she wanted from him right now was to be held.

Rusty had been watching all of this and was amazed at how much Andy really did love her and how much he wanted to be there for her and for him.

He was glad that his mom had someone that truly loved and cared about her.

After what seemed like forever the nurse came back to draw some blood as Andy and rusty both stood holding her hands the nurse drew what blood she needed.

"Okay Sharon" I am fixing to put in your IV tube this will hurt for a few minutes." After I get through the doctor will be in shortly to talk to you before we start your treatment. Sharon could feel the lump in her throat getting bigger as she tried to take in what the nurse was telling her. She was lost in her thoughts when Rusty reached over and touched her hand and he startled her. "I'm sorry mom I didn't mean to scare you." He said as he sat next to her and held her hand trying to reassure her that she would be ok.

After a few minutes the doctor came into the room, "Ms. Raydor I just wanted to check in with you before the nurse came back into start your chemo treatment."

"Your treatment shouldn't last more than an hour to an hour and half at the most." She looked at the doctor with such sadness that neither Rusty nor Andy had ever seen.

"But I must warn you Sharon, that after your treatment you mite experience some rough side effects of the chemo." There's always the possibility you becoming nauseous and vomiting. But we are going to try and give you something to help with that just incase you need it.

"Thank you Doctor" She said as the nurse walked back in the room, "Are you ready sharon?" Sharon looked at the nurse and smiled, "As ready as I'll ever be I guess."

Andy could see that she was starting to get upset and he slid his chair closer to her and held her hand as the nurse began administering the medicine into the IV tube.

She looked up to see rusty watching the nurse intently, "Rusty honey you don't' have to stay if you don't want to."

"I want to be here mom" he said as he walked over and sat down next to her holding her other hand. She smiled at him.

They had been sitting in the room watching her while she was receiving her chemo treatments. Andy was amazed at how strong she was and how beautiful she was. She watched him out of the corner of her eye watching her she couldn't help but smile. They had been sitting in the room for almost an hour she was starting to get anxious and was ready to leave. The nurse stuck her head in the room to check on her.

"Sharon how are you doing honey?" She looked up at the young nurse. "I'm doing fine thanks." "How much longer do I have to sit here?" She asked. The nurse looked at her chart then back at her. "You have another 30 mins to go then you will be done for today."

"The doctor wants you to wait a little while after your treatment before you leave just incase you start to feel nauseous." She sighed as the nurse spoke.

"I was afraid you were going to say that." She said as she smiled at the nurse. She looked over to see Rusty playing a game on his phone. "Honey you can go home if you want to." He looked up to see her smiling at him.

"Mom I'm fine, plus I want to be here to help you if you need me." She couldn't say anything all she could do was stare the wonderful young man before her.

After a little while the nurse came back in, "Well your done for this week Sharon." the nurse spoke as she removed the tube from sharon's hand. "Your next treatment is in two weeks."

The doctor wants you to take it easy and not over due it. If you have any problems just come back." "I'll see you in two weeks then."

Sharon looked at Andy and Rusty let's get out of here I'm ready to go home. Andy helped her up out the chair and wrapped his arms around her and they walked out of the doctors office and made their way home.

Once they arrived at her condo, She had started feeling bad on the way home had fallen asleep in the passenger seat once they arrived at her apartment Andy gently touched her cheek and whispered "Sharon, honey wake up" she started to stir a little as he got closer to her he whispered in her ear again. "Sharon, honey wake up" this time she opened her eyes and sat up a little straighter in the seat. He walked around the car and opened the door for her and held out his hand for her. Rusty walked up and wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her to the elevator. They made it the door of the condo and she walked inside and sat down on the sofa. He stood there watching her she looked so tired, he made his way to the sofa and sat down beside her.

"Sharon honey how about you go lay down for a while. She looked at him as he smiled at her. She gathered up what strength she had, "yeah I guess your right. He helped her to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. "Sharon honey just lay here and rest." He said as he laid a blanket over her.

She had already fallen asleep he stood there and watched her for a moment he prayed that she would fight this and he prayed that she would be ok. He knew that he couldn't live without her. He loved her more than he loved himself. He walked out of the room and back down the hall into the living room.

He found rusty sitting on the sofa watching T.V. he sat down next to him and the two of them sat in silence.. After a few minutes rusty looked at him.

"Is she going to be ok Andy?" Andy could tell he was worried about her.

He cleared his throat, "Rusty she is going to be alright." "She is going to fight this with everything she has."

"It's going to be rough but she will get through this." Rusty looked at him he could see Andy was being honest with him.

"I can't lose her Andy." "She has been one the most important people in my life. "I can't lose her now."

"Not after everything that we have been through the last several years."

Andy could see that he was getting upset he laid his hand on the young man's shoulder. "Rusty you know your mother is a fighter and she will fight this."

"All that you can do is be there for her and help her as much as you can." and just keep praying."

Rusty looked at the older man he knew Andy had a point. He was going to do anything and everything he could to help her.

They sat there in complete silence and both feeling a little better for having talked but both were still very worried about what the future mite hold for all of them.

She woke up to silence as she sat up in bed she could here someone or something in the living room. As she made her way into the hallway and down the hall. She could see the two men she loved the most sitting on the couch watching T.V. and talking..

As she entered the living room both men looked up to see her coming and both jumped up to help her. "Guys I'm fine I'm not going to break." she said as they both stopped in their tracks staring at her.

Andy spoke up "Honey we know that we just want to help you." She couldn't help but laugh she looked between the two of them.

"I came in here to watch a movie with my two of favorite guys." Rusty and Andy looked at each other, He held out his hand for her and led her back to the sofa and sat down next to her putting her feet in his lap. Rusty sat in the floor next to her.

He looked up at her, "how are you feeling mom?" She looked at her son and ran her hand up and down his back as he leaned against the couch in front of her.

"Rusty honey I am feeling much better." I evidently was more tired than I thought and a nap was just what I needed." She said as she stroked his hair out of his face. He smiled at her. "So what movie do we want to watch?" After arguing over what movie they would watch the finally settled on Fantastic four. They all sat and watch the movie enjoying just being together.

After the movie was over she looked over to see that both Andy and Rusty had fallen asleep along with her. She looked down to see rusty's head in her lap and his hand in hers. She smiled at the sight. She couldn't believe how blessed she was to have both of these two in her life. They had both so sweet helping her and being there if she needed them. She made a vow to herself to fight this with everything she had not just for herself but for Andy and her children.

As Andy and rusty slept she stretched out and watched the rest of the movie. She was going to be ok, she was going to beat this..


	6. Chapter 6

Sharon woke up with a sick feeling the pit of her stomach. She sat up when she realized they all had fallen asleep on the couch. She moved carefully so she could get up without waking Andy or Rusty as she ran down the hall to her bathroom.

Andy woke up and looked around for her. He noticed her glasses on the coffee table and the television was still on, so he assumed she hadn't gone far. He looked down to see Rusty curled up on the floor next to the couch. He stood up and stretched his tired and aching muscles.

He made his way toward Sharon's bedroom. He stopped outside the bathroom door when he thought he heard her crying. "Sharon sweetheart, are you ok?"

She didn't respond which worried him. As he stood next to the door, he heard her getting sick and muffled crying once again.

"Can I come in honey?" he asked as he placed his hand on the door knob, only to discover the door was locked.

"Go away," she cried out. " I'll be out in a minute," she managed to say in between sobs.

He started to panic.

He turned and walked down the hall to find Rusty awake and looking concerned.

"What's going on, Andy? What's wrong with mom?" he asked puzzled.

Andy replied, "uh well I think she's getting sick. The bathroom door is locked and I can't get in there to her. I think she may be sicker than we thought."

Andy paced around the living room.

Rusty watched him, "Andy calm down. Let me see if I can get in there and help her."

Andy stopped pacing, "how are you going to get in there? The door is locked, Rusty?"

Rusty asked, almost pleading, "Trust me will you?"

He sighed as Rusty walked down the hall to his mother's bedroom. Rusty knocked gently on the locked bathroom door, "Mom are you ok?"

She was sitting up against the bathroom wall trying to catch her breath, when she heard Rusty's voice calling "mom, mom" softly at the door.

"Please open the door so I can help you," Rusty said in a tone of desperation.

She managed with what strength she had left to crawl toward the door and unlock it. Rusty and Andy both rushed to her side. Andy sat down on the bathroom floor with her as she leaned into his side and rested her head on his shoulder.

"You ok sweetheart?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her shoulder. She was about to answer him when she felt another wave of nausea coming over her. She leaned over the toilet bowl and as she got sick, he held her hair out of her face and rubbed soothing circles on her back.

After a few moments, she felt a little better as she rested her head on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. Rusty watched the scene before him. He grabbed a cool rag and placed it on her forehead. They sat with her until she started to feel better. Both of them looked at each other with panic on their faces as they had never seen her this sick. This was something that was new to all of them. As they sat in the bathroom with her, Andy held her and Rusty sat next to her and held her hand .After some time, Andy looked down to find that she was asleep. He wrapped his arms around her and carried her to the bed and gently laid her down on it and covered her up. He looked at Rusty who was staring at his mother like she was going to break.

"Rusty what's wrong?" Andy asked.

Rusty looked up to meet Andy's gaze, "Oh I'm just worried, this hit her a lot harder than she thought it would."

"I know what you mean, kid, but the thing is, the treatment the doctor has her on will make her sicker before it starts to make her feel better. But she's a fighter and she will fight this with everything she has, you know that."

"You're right, Andy. I'm just worried about her though. I can't lose her."

Andy felt for him. He knew everything Rusty and Sharon had been through the last few years and if it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be here.

"Rusty, I am going to call the doctor and see if he can think of something to give her to help stop the throwing up. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Ok I'm going to sit here with her for a minute just in case she needs something."

Andy walked out of the room and down the hall to call the doctor, leaving Rusty alone with his mother. He sat on the edge of her bed watching her what she was dealing with, she looked peaceful as she slept. Andy finally managed to get a hold of the doctor's office and after he was done with that he walked back down the hall to check on Sharon.

When he opened the bedroom door ,he was suprised to see Rusty sitting on the bed holding his mother while she slept. Rusty looked up when he heard the door open " shhh…". he whispered as Andy made his way over to the bed.

Rusty slipped off the bed without waking her. He and Andy walked out of the room and back down the hall to the living room. They sat down on the sofa, an uneasy silence hung in the air.

Andy spoke first "I called the doctor and he's going to give her something to help with nausea."

Rusty was staring at his hands, Andy could tell that something was on his mind. "What's wrong kid?" He looked over to see Andy smiling sadly at him.

"I'm just worried about was so sick this morning and she looked so weak and scared."

Andy knew that he was having a hard time dealing with Sharon's illness. They thought this was finally their chance to be happy, but fate had other plans.

"Rusty, you and I both know that she is a fighter and that she will fight this and she will get better."

"I know it makes me feel bad that I can't help her and that I can't make her better."

"Rusty, I feel the same way, I wish I could take all of this away from her." Andy said with a heavy sigh.

"She doesn't deserve this, neither do you if we are being completely honest." Rusty said as he patted Andy's arm.

They had been so lost in their conversation neither one of them noticed her standing in the hall watching the exchange. She was happy at the progress that both of the men in her life had made to get along.

She cleared her throat as both looked up to see her walking toward the sofa. She sat down between them as they moved closer to her.

"Are you feeling better sweetheart?" Andy asked as he wrapped her in his arms.

She raised her head and gave him a gentle peck on the lips. "I'm feeling okay, I guess. Still feeling a little sick, but it's nothing I can't handle."

He smiled sweetly at her, "Can I get you something to drink or eat?"

She shook her head. She wrapped her arm around Rusty and gave him a hug. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand as she rested her head back onto Andy's shoulder.

"What do you guys want to do today?"

"Mom, I've got classes today, but I'll be home later this afternoon. so it will be just you and Andy today," Rusty replied.

She looked up at Andy, "Don't you have to work today?"

He kissed the crown of her head, "Nope, I took the day off. It's all been taken care of sweetheart."

She thought about what she wanted to do, "Actually ,Andy, what we are doing right now sounds pretty good to me."

There was a sparkle in her eyes that he hadn't seen in a while.

"If that's what you want to do then that's what we'll do."

Rusty had been watching them, oddly enough, he was getting more comfortable with Andy taking care of his mother. "If you need me, you call me, ok?" He said as he gathered his things.

She smiled at her son "I will sweetheart. I promise."

He made his way down the hall to get ready to leave. He came back a few minutes later with his back pack on his back. She met him at the door and gave him a hug and a kiss before he left. "I'll see you later, Rusty. Love you."

He hugged her, "Love you too mom"

They sat on the sofa watching movies and talking. He knew that she still wasn't feeling good. She stretched out and fell sound asleep again by the time Rusty made it home later that afternoon.

Rusty walked into the condo to find Andy watching a movie and Sharon with her head in his lap gently snoring.

"She ok?" He asked as he walked over to the sofa and handed Andy Sharon's medicine.

Andy gently stroked her hair and whispered, "yeah she's fine. She's been up and down most the afternoon running back and forth to the bathroom, but she's been asleep for a few hours now."

He was relieved to see his mother resting comfortably, "don't wake her up, Andy, let her rest. I've got homework and a test tomorrow, so I'll be busy studying for a while." He chuckled as he turned and walked down the hall to his room.

After several more hours, he felt her starting to stir. She looked up at him and smiled.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" He asked as she sat up and looked around the room.

"I'm feeling a little better now." She picked up her phone off of the coffee table and checked the time. It was almost 6pm, she had been asleep all afternoon.

"Andy why did you let me sleep all day?" she asked as moved closer to him.

"Honey, you looked so peaceful I didn't have the heart to wake you up.

She shook her head at him. "Is Rusty home?" She asked as she noticed the light from her son's room.

"Yes ma'am, he is. He said he had homework to do and he would see you in a little while."

She was about to check on him when her phone chimed. She picked it up to find a text message from Emily.

" _Hey mom. Just wanted to check on you. Talk to you soon. I love you!"_

"Doing fine, had rough morning, but doing better now. I love you too! Miss you."

" _How are Andy and Rusty? How are your treatments going?"_

"My treatments are going okay. Slowly getting better, it's going to be a long journey."

" _I wish I was there to help you through fighting, mom., I'll come visit just as soon as I can.._

"Take care of yourself, my girl! I'll be fine.. Miss you!"

" _Miss you too mom, Tell Andy and Rusty I said hi and miss them too."_

She smiled when she read her daughters last message. She loved and missed her daughter. After reading the text one more time she laid the phone back on the coffee table . She looked up to see Rusty walking down the hall toward them. "Hi mom, how are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling much better Rusty, thanks to you and Andy." She smiled at her son.

"What do you guys want to do for dinner?" She looked between them "I'm starving.,"

Andy laughed at her.

"Why are you laughing at me, Andy?"

"You're funny that's why, " he replied.

As she reached over and playfully smacked his chest, she said, "Well I am going to go and freshen up while you two decide on dinner."

With that, she left them to figure out dinner while she took a shower.

As she undressed in the bathroom, she started to feel sick again, but didn't pay too much attention to it at first. She stepped into the shower and stood under the stream of hot water, hoping the nausea would subside. Suddenly, she felt dizzy and everything went black.

After a few minutes, Andy ordered dinner. He and Rusty were setting the table when he heard a loud crash coming from the bathroom. They looked at each other for a moment as time stood still. Sharon! They ran down the hall to the master bedroom. As they got to the bathroom door, Andy heard the shower still running.

"Sharon, sweetheart, you ok?" He didn't hear a response from the other side. He reached for the door knob and opened the door. He found her unconscious the floor.

"Sharon,Sharon, Wake up sweetheart." He repeated as he turned the shower off and covered her with her bath robe. He lifted her head and felt an all too familiar stickiness matting her hair. He removed his hand, knowing it would be covered in blood.

"Rusty call the ambulance. Now!" He shouted.

Rusty called for an ambulance, "They are on their way now, Andy."

As Andy held her, she started coming to, "Sharon,honey are you ok?"

She tried to focus. She was wet, wrapped in her bathrobe, lying on her bathroom floor.

"Andy what happened?" she asked as she tried to sit up.

"Just lay still, honey, the paramedics will be here in a few minutes." Andy said in the calmest voice he could manage. "You have a gash on the back of your head and you're bleeding."

She saw the worry in his eyes, "Where's Rusty? I don't want him to see me like this."

"Don't worry, he's in the bedroom. He can't see anything."

Relieved, Sharon whispered, "That's all I need for him to see his mother lying naked on the bathroom floor."

"I'm here mom!" Rusty yelled from the bedroom. "Andy, is she ok?"

Andy snugged the robe around her, "I think she'll be ok, Rusty."

Just then, they heard a knock at the door. Rusty ran down the hall to let the paramedics inside The paramedics helped her sit up and treated the gash on the back of her head.

"Ma'am we are going to need to take you to the hospital so they can check you and make sure there's not something else going on."

She was about to protest, when she noticed Rusty and Andy. She had never seen them look so sad or scared.

"Okay I'll go."

They wheeled her to the elevator on the stretcher, followed by Andy and Rusty. This was going to be a long night..

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When they reached the hospital, the nurse took Sharon down for some tests while Andy filled out some paper work.

After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor walked out and introduced herself to them. "Hi, I'm Doctor Harper. I've been treating Sharon this evening."

"Yes, doctor how is she?" Andy asked worried,

"She's going to be just fine. She suffered a slight concussion and a small cut on the back of her head, but she should recover nicely in a few days. She just has to take it easy."

"What caused her to black out like that?" Andy and Rusty asked at the same time.

"It was a combination of dehydration and not eating."

They both looked at each other then back at the doctor, "We are going to keep her for a few more hours, then she'll be ready to go both can go in and see her if you would like."

"Thanks Doctor," Andy said.

To their surprise, they found her sitting up in bed flipping through a magazine. She was relieved to see that it was Rusty and Andy coming through the door and not the doctor again.

Rusty carefully wrapped his mother in a tight hug, "How are you feeling, mom?" He asked as he let her go and sat down on the edge of the bed, mindful of the I/V tubing and other wires connecting her to the monitors.

She reached up and brushed the hair out of his eyes, "I'm fine honey, nothing to worry about."

Andy sat on the other side of the bed next to her. He held her hand as he kissed her forehead.

"I didn't mean to scare either of you. I was feeling alright when I got into the shower. Then all of a sudden, everything went black. I don't understand what happened. What did the doctor say,Andy?" Sharon asked.

"She said you were dehydrated and also the lack of food caused you to faint. You can go home tonight, so that's a good thing."

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"Sharon, honey it's okay, as long as you're okay that's all that matters." Andy assured her.

She smiled at them both. Several hours had passed when the doctor and one her nurses came in to remove the IV from Sharon's hand. "Well Sharon you are free to go home, Just take care of yourself"."

"You two make sure she stays hydrated and that she eats. If not, she'll be back here for longer than a few hours." The doctor said sternly.

"Thank you, doctor, we will make sure she follows all the rules," Andy gave Sharon a brief smirk. When Sharon was sure the doctor wasn't looking, she stuck her tongue out at him. Seeing Sharon returning to her old self, Rusty felt a wave of relief.

As Sharon looked around the room she asked, "What am I going to wear home?"

He laughed at the shocked look on her face. He shot a look at Rusty before turning to her, "Well I guess you're going to have to wear your bathrobe home honey. We didn't have a chance to pack you any other clothes. I'm sorry sweetheart."

She looked at Rusty who was about burst out laughing, Though he tried to keep a straight face , he failed miserably.

She rolled her eyes, "You two are terrible you know that?"

She couldn't be mad at them. Even though they were messing with her, she smiled at them both.

When Andy couldn't stand it anymore, he laughed as he handed her the overnight bag Rusty packed while the paramedics were taking care of her. As she stood up, she stumbled on her way to the bathroom to change.

Andy managed to catch her before she had the chance to fall, "Whoa honey take it easy. I got you. Do you need me to help you get dressed?"

She stopped mid step and looked into his eyes. Once again, she found herself safely nestled in the safety of his arms.

"No, I think I can handle it from here." She replied.

Not wanting to leave her side, he asked Rusty, "Will you bring your car around to the front?"

Rusty nodded and grabbed his jacket, "Sure I'll be right back."

With that ,he left them alone. "Are you sure you don't need any help?"

She smiled sweetly at him, "I'm sure I can handle it."

He gave her a crooked grin, "You can't blame a guy for trying."

He hoped to lighten the moment. A few minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom dressed in black yoga pants and a navy blue LAPD Tshirt. This wasn't her normal attire, but it was a lot better than the bathrobe she had on before.

"Well my love, your chariot awaits." He wrapped his arms around her and led her to the car. He held the door open for her as she sat in the passenger seat. She pressed her cheek against the cool window. It felt good against her warm face as she watched the world go by. It was a short ride home, Once inside, she sat down on the sofa and stared at the ceiling for a moment. She raised up when Andy handed her a bottle of water and her nausea medicine.

"You need to take your meds, honey,"

She nodded as she took a sip of water.

"I reordered dinner. It will be here shortly. I know you have to be hungry by now." Andy said as he sat beside her.

"Yes, I am starving. Hopefully this time around, I'll get to enjoy it." She patted his leg. "I didn't mean to scare you today."

He wrapped an arm around her, "I'm just glad your ok, honey, that's all that matters to me."

She gently kissed him on the cheek, "Andy will you go with me to my chemo treatment tomorrow?"

He felt the familiar sting in his eyes, "Of course sweetheart."

Sharon squeezed his hand, "Thank you, Andy."

"You don't have to thank me for anything, Sharon. I told you I would always be there if you needed me and I am going to keep my promise." He raised her hand to his lips and gently pressed them against her soft hand. "I'm going to be there for you every step of the way. When you're weak, I'll be strong. When you let go, I'll hold on, and when you need to cry, I swear I'll be there to dry your eyes." He brushed a single tear from her cheek. "When you feel lost and scared to death and you like you can't take one more step, just take my hand together we can do it. I'm gonna love you through it." Her tears flowed freely as he wiped them away with his thumbs. She moved closer to him. He held her to his chest as she released her fear and sadness. He cupped her chin and one by one, he kissed her tears away.

Rusty watched the scene between them from his doorway. He hadn't meant to spy, but when he heard his mother's sobs, he was afraid of what was happening. The pounding of his heart subsided as he heard Andy talking to her and he realized that she was okay. He had to admit he was glad she had someone like Andy to take care of her and be there for her .

It made him feel better about everything knowing Andy was there to take care of her. If he was honest with himself, he knew Andy was taking care of him too. He was showing him what a relationship is supposed to be like and that it's not always easy but if you really love and care about someone you give them all of yourself. He stuck his head out in the hall one last time and noticed that the living room was dark except for the glow of the television. He caught Andy looking at him, he mouthed the words, "is she ok?"

Andy smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up. He walked back into his room and shut the door leaving them in their own little world.

{TBC}


	7. Chapter 7

After rusty went back into his room, leaving Andy holding Sharon on the couch. He watched her as she tried to get comfortable but was failing miserably at it. He turned the TV down and covered her up with the blanket. She let a soft hum as he sat back against the couch and held her while she slept.. He continued to stare at the TV and after a few minutes he nodded off to sleep.

He woke up to find Sharon gone and the condo quiet, too quiet he thought as he stood up and made his way down the hall he called her name, Sharon, Sharon sweetheart, "You okay ?" He walked into the bedroom and found her curled up on her side of the bed sound asleep he quietly walked over and picked up the throw blanket that laid on the foot of the bed and gently covered her up careful not wake her. He stood in dark room watching the beautiful woman before him sleeping peacefully for the first time in several weeks.

He quietly made his way out of the room as he shut the door he bumped into rusty as he was coming out of his room, "She okay?" He asked as he stopped outside his of bedroom.

"Yes rusty she's fine." She's finally sleeping peacefully right now.

"Oh okay Andy." He could tell something was bothering the kid, "What's wrong rusty?"

Rusty looked at him, "I've just been so worried about her the last few weeks." I can't lose her Andy not now he spoke his voice slightly breaking.

Andy watched him trying to keep it together, He felt for the kid he knew how much he loved his mother and how important they were to each other.

Rusty was walking away when he stopped suddenly, turning around he faced him, "Andy when is her next chemo treatment?" He looked at rusty for a moment.

"Actually it's tomorrow morning why do you ask?"

"If it's okay with you i would like to be there with her." Andy tried hard to swallow the lump in his throat, "I think she'd like that rusty." He smiled at him as rusty nodded as he walked away. He stopped and turned around "Thank you Andy"

Andy stopped suddenly, "What for rusty?" He asked giving him a confused look.

"For everything that you have done and sacrificed to help and be here for mom."

He walked over to him and laid his hand on rusty's shoulder. "Rusty you don't have to thank me for anything." I would do it all again in a heartbeat."

"Sharon means more to me than anything in this world and if she needs me i'm there no matter what."

"Go get some sleep kid," "We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." With that rusty retreated back into his room and Andy made his way to the living room.

He sat down on the sofa and turned the tv back on and turned the volume down so we wouldn't disturb them. He stretched out on the sofa as he watched an old movie after a few minutes he was drifting off to sleep himself.

Several hours later Sharon woke to find her alone in bed this sent a wave of panic through her entire body, she sat up on the side of the bed and waited for the room to stop spinning several minutes passed before she is finally able to stand and make her way to the door. She finally walks out into the hall toward the living room. It was still dark outside she could see the moonlight shining through the open blinds on the sliding glass door.

As she made her way into the room she saw that the tv was still on and she found Andy snoring lightly on the sofa. She knew that she was going to have to wake him up sleeping on this sofa was not a good thing for someone his age or any age for that matter.

She gently shook him he mumbled and slowly opened his eyes to see her standing over him. "Sharon honey everything ok?" He asked as he jolted up on the sofa.

She chuckled to herself, "Yes honey i'm ok" he moved his legs and she sat down on the sofa next to him. He wrapped his arms around her and gently kissed the side of her head. They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity before she finally spoke.

"Andy i'm scared." He looked at her puzzled for a moment, "Why?" She looked at him with such sadness he hadn't seen before, "Because of my treatment today."

"Oh you have nothing to worry about sweetheart," "The doctor said that your body has been responding good to the treatment and he doesn't see any reason that you shouldn't be in complete remission soon."

"Plus the doctor told us both that you would get worse before you got better."

She looked up at him, "I guess you're right, i am just afraid of being a burden to you and rusty." He couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Sharon sweetheart you are not a burden to me and rusty do you hear me?" We love you and we are here for you anytime you need us you know that.

She smiled at him as he pulled her in closer to him as they sat on the couch wrapped up in each other. They must have fallen asleep, the next thing she knew rusty was standing behind the couch calling her, "Mom, mom, she sat up quickly as she did the room started spinning again she felt like she was going to throw up, "Rusty honey what's wrong?" He smiled at her, "Nothing mom just wanted to make sure you were up, you have your chemo treatment today remember?"

She stood up and looked at her son, "Oh yeah i remember," She turned to see andy sitting on the couch smiling at her, she gently touched his cheek as he stood up behind her, he could tell she wasn't feeling it today but she tried to put on a brave face for rusty's sake. "Honey are you ok?" He asked as he rubbed circles on her back. "Uh i don't know," she responded, "You don't know?" He looked at her puzzled. He went to help her sit down when she bolted to the bathroom to throw up again. He was hot on her heels, "Sharon sweetheart here let me help you" he said as he pulled her hair away from her face. After a few minutes they made their way out of the bathroom to find a worried rusty pacing around the bedroom. "Mom you ok?"

"Yes rusty i'm fine i promise," "I have good days and bad ones it comes with the territory i guess. "Now if you don't mind i would like to get a shower before we leave for the doctor, "Andy can you help me?" He smiled at her, "Absolutely sweetheart." He helped her out of her clothes and stood in the shower with her while she took a shower, as he stood there admiring the beautiful woman before him, he couldn't help but be amazed at how well she was handling all of this.

No matter how sick she felt she always had a smile on her face and that stubborn streak that he loved, he was lost in his thoughts when she gently touched his hand bringing him back to her, "Andy can you wash my hair for me?" I just don't have the strength to do it, He took the shampoo from her and gently massaged it into her long brown hair as she hummed, after he rinsed the shampoo out he added the conditioner he took his time rinsing it out, after he was done she stepped out of shower he wrapped a towel around her, as he watched her walk into the bedroom he was becoming worried about her, she wasn't herself today. He knew that she was worried about her chemo treatment but something else seemed to be bothering her. He would ask her about it later, at the moment they were running behind for her doctor's appointment.

Once they arrived at the doctor's office, They were met by a nurse at the desk.

"Good morning ." "How are you this morning?"

Sharon smiled at the young nurse, "I'm doing alright, just ready to get this over with."

"If you don't mind could you take a seat in the waiting room for a minute and i'll be right back to get you." Sharon turned around to see Andy and Rusty both staring at her. "Ok guys you heard her lets find a seat," they all sat down by the door sharon in the middle and both of her boys on each side, she felt a little better knowing they both were there to help her. She was staring at her hands when she saw the nurse walk into the room. " are you ready?" Sharon stood up and followed her, she stopped at the door, "Can they come with me?" The nurse looked at the two guys sitting in the waiting room, "Sure, they are more than welcome to sit with you again," "We try to encourage family to sit with the patient, it helps the patient relax and makes it a less stressful situation,"

After the nurse got her weight and height measurement, she directed sharon into the room and started her on the IV, "This round of treatment will take around 45 minutes to an hour or so." Sharon smiled at the nurse as she made sure that everything was working properly on the machine.

Before the nurse left them alone, Sharon stopped her, "Is the doctor here today?"

The nurse smiled at her, "yes ma'am he is." "Would you like to see him?"

"Yes i have some questions for him." Yes ma'am i will let him know you want to see him, now you don't move to much and let the medicine do it's thing. "I'll be back to check on you shortly."

As they sat in silence, Andy noticed that she was lost in her thoughts, like something was bothering her. She felt someone watching her, she turned her head to see andy and rusty both smiling at her. "Rusty you don't have to sit here with me,"

With a heavy sigh he looked at his mother, "Mom there is no other place i'd rather be than here with you."

"I want to be here to help you through all of this." She felt the tears falling down her face she didn't try to stop them, he walked over to his mother and gently hugged her as the nurse walked back into the room to check on her. "Everything ok in here?" She asked as she walked over to check the machine.

Sharon smiled at her "Yep!" The doctor said when you are done with your treatment today that you could come see him."

Andy looked at her confused, she held his hand, "It's nothing sweetheart i just have some questions for him, he was about to answer her when the door opened and the doctor walked in. "Hi Sharon, how are you feeling today?" He asked as he shook her hand and Andy's.

"My nurse said you wanted to talk to me?" She sat up a little straighter in the chair, "Yes i have a couple of questions," My first one is with the chemo that i am on will i lose my hair?" I know it sounds crazy to worry about something like that but it's been weighing on my mind, and my other question is how many more treatments do i have and how much worse will the side effects get?"

The doctor cleared his throat, "Well as far as your hair, It is possible that you will lose your hair sooner rather than later, and also you still have another month or so worth the treatments to do, as far the side effects go i'm not sure, it just depends on how well your body tolerates the chemo hopefully they will not get any worse.

Are you still taking the medicine i prescribed for the nausea, She nodded her head yes. As long as you continue to take them the nause should decrease as far as any other symptoms we will have to see what happens over the next few weeks. She reached out her hand and shook the doctor's hand again, "Thank you doctor you answered all of my questions.

"My pleasure Sharon," Anytime you need anything just let me know." With that he left them alone again, As the door shut behind him the tears started falling down her face again, andy reached over to hold her, but she pushed him away, he holds onto her hand while she cries. Rusty stands there watching all of this, he quietly walks out of the room leaving them alone.

Andy turns around to find rusty gone, Andy sweetheart can you go find him for me." Sharon said in between sobs. "Sure sweetheart, i'll be right back. He gently kisses the top of her head as he starts to get up from the chair., he walks out into the hall to find rusty sitting on the floor with his head buried in his hands,

"Hey kid what's wrong?" He asked as he kneels down next to him, rusty looks up at his mother's boyfriend, "I can't stand to see her like that andy," She so vulnerable and fraile. "I know what you mean kid i can't stand it either but we have to be the strong ones for her, She has always been the strong one, the independent one, the one who has always taken care of everyone else." Now it's our turn, she needs both of us right now, "I know it's hard and it's going to get worse before it gets better, But we have to do this for her. "Cause i don't know about you, "I don't want to lose her anytime soon." "I just found her and i can't imagine my life without that beautiful brown haired, green eyed woman." It was in that moment rusty realized just how much andy really did love his mother.

"I know all of that Andy, I just feel so helpless that i can't do anything to help her. Andy laid his hand on rusty's shoulder, "Just being here for her and showing her how much you love her is all the help she needs right now rusty."

"Trust me that will do her more good than anything else." After a few minutes they made their way back in the room where sharon had been waiting for them. They walked in to find the nurse taking the IV out of her arm and applying a band aid in it's place. Sharon smiled at them as she took Andy's hand and wrapped her arm around rusty, "let's go home."

They arrived home and sharon made her way to the couch to lay down, while rusty retreated to his room again.. Andy hated this part of her treatment it always managed to wipe her completely out. She was laying on the couch when he walked around and sat down on the other end and placed her feet in his lap massaging them as he watched her sleep peacefully. He knew she still a hell of a fight left to go but he knew if anyone could fight it and kick it's butt he knew sharon would, he just hoped that she felt the same way and that her body would let her.

She woke several hours later she felt like someone had ran her over with a mack truck, she still hadn't gotten used to the chemo treatment and the side effects. She made her way to the bathroom just in time to throw up again, she had lost count on the number of times she had done that. She was standing in front of the mirror when she noticed something odd with her hair, as she ran her fingers through her auburn hair she noticed that some it was coming out in her hand, as she stood in the mirror looking at the hair in her hand she felt someone behind her she turn to see andy standing behind her, she buried her face in his chest as the tears fell. "Sweetheart everything will be ok," she looked up to see him watching her, "How can you say that, she was screaming at him now, "My hair is falling out and you are standing here telling me everything will be ok?" He held her tighter in his arms as she began to cry and scream again, He cupped her chin, "Sharon sweetheart," Look at me, she wiped the tears as she lifted her head, "You are the most beautiful woman i have ever seen, i know you are upset that you are losing your hair, but think about it like this, "That means that the chemo is working and you will get better, also your hair will grow back, she hadn't thought of it like that, she was so focused on what she was losing instead of what she had.

She wrapped her arms around him, "Andy i am so sorry i yelled at you," he laughed as she apologized to him. "Sharon sweetheart, you don't have to apologize."

It doesn't matter to me if you lose all of your hair or you don't you are the most amazing, and gorgeous woman i know. "Just remember what i told you before, when you're weak i'll be strong, when you let go i'll hold on, and when you need to cry i'll be there to dry your eyes, when you feel lost and scared to death, like you can't one more step just take my hand and together we can do it, "I'm gonna love you through it… With tears streaming down her face she gently kissed him as he held her, "I'm never letting go, he told her as he felt her tremble against his chest. "I hope not, she replied, he held onto her tighter. As he held her in his arms while she finally drifted off to sleep, he wondered how many more times would he have to be able to hold her like this. She had been fighting with every fiber of her being, but he also noticed that she was getting tired and she had gotten to where she was sleeping more and eating less and less. He had noticed at her last chemo treatment her sudden weight loss, he was concerned about her steady decline in her weight, she had been looking a little smaller than usual, He wanted to talk to the doctor about it.

While she slept he got out of bed and walked into the living room and called the doctor, he held his breath as the phone began to ring, once the nurse answered the phone, "Yes Mr. Flynn i will let the doctor know that you would like to speak to him." "Thank you," I would greatly appreciate it." he walked over to the couch and sat down, as he sat there thinking about the last few months he felt a sudden wave of emotion come over him.

It was finally hitting him that she was sick, he had pushed his own feelings aside and focused all of his attention on sharon and her treatments, he was lost in his thoughts when his phone started ringing again, he looked and noticed it was the doctor's office. After a lengthy discussion with the doctor he felt better about the whole situation. He was making his way to the bedroom when his phone rang in his hand, he looked at the display noticing it was he his best friend, "Hey flynn," "How's she doing?" he heard his best friend and his wife in the background, as he stood in the living room was hesitant to answer him, "She's ok i guess," she's been doing a lot of sleeping, Louie could hear the sadness in his best friend's voice. "How are you doing with all of this?" The thought he was hearing things for second, but he knew that like him louie had a real affection for sharon and he really did care about her. "Well if you need anything you know patrice and i are here to help you." as his friend spoke he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, he sighed "Thanks louie."

"Well just know that you and sharon are not alone in this," he heard his best friends voice starting to crack. After they talked a few more minutes he laid the phone down on the end and went to go check on sharon. He found her curled up on her side of the bed, she looked like she had been sweating, as he made his way to the bed and sat down next to her he could see that she was sweating and shaking, he gently shook her to wake her up, "sharon, sharon wake up honey," she looked up at him and smiled, "Hi," he took her hand in his, "Sweetheart are you feeling ok?" she looked at him for a moment, as she tried to sit up she felt the room starting to spin. She tried to stand up and as she started to fall back he caught her and helped her sit down. "I'm going to get the thermometer i want to take your temperature." He got up and walked into the bathroom, as he was looking for the thermometer, she stood up and started to follow him, as she got to the end of the bed everything went dark..

As he heard a loud crash behind him, he turned around to find her on the floor next to the bed. He ran into the room, "Sharon honey wake up, wake up honey," he picked her up and called 911… This couldn't be happening not to her what was he going to do if something was to happen to her. He quickly pushed those thoughts aside as he talked to the dispatcher. A few minutes later he heard the paramedics at the door he ran down the hall to open the door for them. As he led them down the hall and into the room, As they worked on her she started to come around as she opened her eyes she looked at Andy, she was about to say something when everything went black again.


	8. Chapter 8

As he sat in the dark and silent hospital room watching the machines around her beep, Andy sat in the dark hospital room next to her bed watching the love of his life sleep, feeling beyond helpless he couldn't believe that she was in this situation again. He thought that she was starting to do better. Everything had become such a blur one minute she was sitting up in bed talking to him and the next she is on the floor passed out.

As he sat staring at her, the nurse entered to check her vitals and make sure that everything was okay. He hadn't noticed until the nurse spoke, "Your wife will be alright," He suddenly looked from the chair he was sitting in, "She's my girlfriend," The nurse looked at him for a moment, "I'm sorry."

He smiled at her he stood up and stretched his tired and stiff muscles, He looked at the beautiful woman in the hospital bed. He wished like hell he could change places with her. He sat back down on the edge of the bed and was holding her hand as the nurse quietly walked out of the room.

He brushed the hair out of her face, she looked so frail and tired, he knew that the cancer was taking everything out of her, he felt a little guilty that he hadn't noticed that she was overdoing it. But he knew the stubborn woman laying before wouldn't let anything or anyone stop her from living her life.

As he continued to watch her sleep, the door opened and the doctor walked into the room, The doctor didn't look that old, She smiled as she spoke to him, " ," "I'm Doctor Szermer." "We ran some test on her and found that she has several blood clots in some very bad places, he held her hand tighter as he listened to the doctor, She has developed these over the last few weeks as a result of her not being as active as she once was. He looked at the doctor in complete shock, "What can we do for her" he asked as he felt the tears welling up.

"We started her on Heparin when they brought her here." "It should break up the clots, but we won't really be able to tell for several hours,"

"There's nothing we can do for her right now but wait, "Can i make a suggestion?" He looked up to see the doctor still standing at the foot of the bed. "Sure," he responded, "why don't you go home and get some rest and if anything changes we will call you." "No Offense Doc, but i am not leaving her," He realized he was yelling at the doctor, as he lowered his voice he spoke softly. "I will be just fine right here". He really didn't need to lose it right now. Sharon needed him more than ever now.

"I completely understand, if you need anything just let myself or the nurses know," With that she walked out of the room leaving him alone again. He really couldn't be mad at the doctor she was only trying to help, he really couldn't leave sharon not like this. As he moved back to the chair next to the bed, rusty entered the room, "How is she andy?" Andy looked at him, "Well rusty, to be completely honest she isn't doing well." Come and sit down and i will explain what's going on.

After several minutes of explaining to him what was going on with his mother, rusty was even more worried than before he walked into the room.

"Is she going to wake up?" he asked as he paced around the room, Andy sat watching him, his heart went out to him, he knew exactly how he felt.

He sighed as he look at rusty again, "Right now we don't know, the doctor seems to think she will, but you also know your mother she will wake up when she's ready to." Rusty chuckled at his last statement, he knew her well enough to know that.

Rusty looked over at andy and watched him as he sat staring at sharon, "Have you eaten anything?" he asked as he fumbled with his phone.

"No, i've been here since we got here, but i could use a bite of something." Rusty smiled as he walked toward the door, I will pick you up something and i will run by your house and pick up some clothes and other things for you.

"Thank you rusty," Just promise me something andy, what is it?"

"If something happens to her before i get back will you call me?" Andy stood up and walked toward the door and laid his hand on rusty's shoulder.

"Absolutely, you will be the first one i call ok," Rusty smiled at him as he opened the door and walked out. They had come a long way since his mom and andy started dating, he was slowly learning what real relationships were supposed to be like.

He stood there staring at the closed door, as he turned around to walk back to the chair he hung his head as he walked, he knew that it didn't look good for her right now but he also knew that she was fighter and that she would fight her way back to them. She just had to, he couldn't lose her now.

The next several of hours passed without much incident, she hadn't woken up and the doctor had returned to tell him that the medicine had broken up the clots on her lungs but she still had several around her heart and they were going to have to do surgery to remove them, which they couldn't do, her immune system is still very weak from the chemo. But until then they were going to have to just wait.

All this waiting was taking it's toll on him, he had sent rusty home several hours ago, he had been dozing off and on in the chair on the other side of the bed so he decided to send him home so he could get ready to start his classes the next morning. Once rusty left he pulled the sofa closer to the bed and stretched out, he was going to get a little sleep while she slept, After several hours he woke suddenly like someone had smacked him, he looked over to see her in the same position that she was in when he laid down.

He stood up and stretched as the morning nurse came into the room to check on her, "Good morning, ," He smiled politely at her, as she went out about her business checking sharon's vitals and making sure that all of her iv's were still functioning properly. As she started to leave he stopped her, "Uh Nurse Melissa," when will she wake up?" She could see the look of worry on his face. "Mr. flynn," I don't know but i will go and find the doctor for you and let her know that you want to see her. He nodded his head and sat back down on the sofa, "Thank you" he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. The nurse quietly left the room and left him to his sat there staring at the floor for what seemed like an eternity, he looked up when he heard the door open and in walked the doctor. "Mr. Flynn", My nurse said you wanted to speak to me?" He stood up and step closer to the bed and took a deep breath as he watched her chest rise and fall. "You can call me Andy, "When will she wake up doc?" The doctor could see the worry on his face, he couldn't hide his emotions no matter how hard he tried.

"Andy i don't know," We have done everything we can for her,"

"It's up to her now, but i must warn you the longer we wait the more at risk she is for a stroke or something worse." Andy looked at her, "stroke?" How is that possible?" He sat down in the chair as the doctor walked around and stood in front of him, "She has blood clots on her heart and if she moves or they move she is in great risk of it being fatal ."Doc what are her chances of having a stroke?" He asked softly.. "Since she has been going to chemo treatments she has a greater risk for a stroke, and forming clots in her lungs, which luckily we were able to take of that with medication.

"Once we her immune system get a little stronger then we will be able to perform the surgery, but until then we can only wait." He watched as the doctor as she played with hem of her coat as she spoke,. "We are guardedly optimistic that she will pull through this, but we are also preparing for the worse as well." He couldn't hide his tears anymore as tears started streaming down his face.

"If you need anything Andy just myself or one of nurses know." She quietly made her way out of the room leaving him standing alone. This couldn't be happening to them, they had just found each other and now it was all being torn apart and he couldn't do anything to stop it, he really needed a drink, he thought as he stood there looking at Sharon laying in the hospital bed. He knew he had to get out of here or he was going to lose it all together. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the one person he knew he could trust to help him. As the phone rang in his hand and he heard the voice on the other end of the phone say, "Hello."...

As he tried to gain his composure, he spoke softly, "I need your help,"...

~TBC~


	9. Chapter 9

It didn't take him long to get to his best friend's house. He walked in provenza could see the hurt and anguish on his face, "You ok?" he asked as he opened the door and let him in, it was still fairly late and he didn't think that louie would even be up let alone open the door for him.

"No i'm not ok, "I can't do it anymore louie, he stopped in his tracks he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "What do you mean you can't do it anymore?" Andy turned at looked at his partner, "I've been the strong one, the one who has been there through it all for her and i have never said a word," "but i feel as if i am being tested or something." As they sat on the couch, louie was still trying to understand,

"Did something happen to sharon?" he asked concerned, andy looked at his partner for a moment, "no she's still the same they aren't sure when or if she will wake up." "Andy, what do you mean if?" Now louie was concerned not only for sharon but for andy too. He had never seen his friend like this before he could see andy was scared, He looked at andy, "what did you mean by if she wakes up?" Andy looked at him for a moment. "The doctors aren't sure if she will wake up louie."

"She hasn't woken up yet and it's been 3 days, i'm starting to really worry, "I know how strong and stubborn she is but with everything that she has been through this last 6 months i don't know if her body can handle it." They were so involved in the conversation that they never heard Patrice come into the room. "Louie honey, "everything ok?" he looked up to see his wife standing in front of them. He stood up and walked with her back into the bedroom. "Andy isn't doing so good right now, Sharon still hasn't woken up and he's beyond worried." The doctors are optimistic that she'll recover but andy isn't convinced. She could see the concern and worry on louie's face he had a hard time hiding his emotions especially from her.

As they talked in the other room andy sat on the couch with his head in his hands, he couldn't believe that it had gotten to this point that he could actually lose her. He had just found her and now it was being torn apart, he really needed a drink but he also knew that he still had to be strong for sharon he couldn't let her down not like this. He was busy with his own thoughts he never heard louie return to the living room. "Andy" he looked up at his best friend, "Do you want to stay here for the night and try to rest?" "No thank you," "I really shouldn't i should get back," he went to walk to the front door louie stopping him mid step, "I think you should stay andy it mite do you some good to actually get a good night's sleep for a change, i know you haven't had one of those in a long time." "I said NO louie." I can't and won't leave her alone again." as he paced around the room. "Andy i understand what you're doing, but you also need to think about your health too." He stopped and looked at his best friend, "I knew i shouldn't have come here!" "I knew you would try and talk me into staying here instead of at the hospital." he turned and walked out of the house slamming the door behind him leaving louie standing there stunned at what just happen.

He made his way back to the hospital and rode the elevator up to her room. As he entered the room it was still dark and the machines were still beeping and humming. He sat down next to her as he stared at her he held her hand as the tears began to fall again. As he sat there watching her the nurses came and out checking on her and her vitals and on him as well. He finally stretched out on the couch in the far corner of the room and tried to sleep but was failing miserably at it. He lay there staring at the ceiling, the next thing he knew he woke up and the sun was shining through the window filling the room with sunlight. He sat up on the couch stretching his tired and aching muscles, as he focused on the room he noticed the doctor had came in and was checking on sharon again. "Doctor Szermer," How is she doing?"

She looked up when she heard him talking to her, "well andy she really hasn't improved much, i was hoping that she would be further along by now but her body isn't handling all of this very well, she saw the sadness on his face, "I am still hoping she will wake up but as i told you before it's up to her now." "We've done all that we can do." he sat on the couch while the room spun around him. How could this be happening, He sat there for a while trying to process what the doctor had told him, it wasn't until he heard the door open he realized that rusty had walked into the room. "Andy, "how's she doing?" How was he going to tell her kids that she wasn't doing well… especially rusty, they had been through so much in the last few years and he was sure that this would hurt him if he told him but on the other hand he couldn't keep this from him either. He took a deep breath and walked over him, "well rusty, she isn't doing well they aren't sure if or when she'll wake up." "The doctor is fairly optimistic that she will but she is also preparing for the worse too." Rusty stood before him absorbing everything that andy was telling him. Andy could see the hurt and devastation on rusty's face. "Well, the doctors don't know everything and they sure as hell don't know sharon rusty replied."

"That's very true kid, but it's up to her now," the doctors have done all they can do for her." Rusty looked up at him, "It sounds like to me that you are giving up on her andy." he was shocked at what rusty was saying, "That's not it at all rusty you know me better than that," "I don't know andy, it just seems to me that you don't want her to wake up," "Now wait a damn minute young man!" How in the hell can you stand here and say that to me?" You have no right or reason to. I have been here for sharon and for you from the very beginning and i haven't regretted it at all. "I love her more than anything in this world and you have the nerve to stand here and talk to me like this." rusty just stood there speechless he was about to say something when one the machines started beeping and then flatlined, before they had time to react the room became full of nurses and the doctor came running behind them. She spoke to one of the nurses, "Get them out of here NOW,"

Nurse Melissa, the brunette nurse that andy had see coming in out of the room walked over to him and rusty, "Andy you and rusty are going to have wait out in the hall," "uh, what's going on?" he asked as they were pushed out of the room. She replied, "I don't know," the doctor looked up at as she was working on sharon as the got to the door,

"I said get out of here NOW!" with that they were pushed out into the hallway as the doctor and nurses worked to save sharon's life., rusty looked up with tears in his eyes, "She's going to be ok right Andy?" andy looked at the young man before him, "I don't know rusty, i don't know…

{TBC}


	10. Chapter 10

They stood out in the hall outside of Sharon's room waiting, they could hear the doctor yelling at the nurses. As he stood against the wall he felt like his world was falling apart around him, he watched rusty as he paced up and down the hall, the kid was just as nervous and upset as he was. He couldn't be mad at him for lashing out like he did. Andy knew how much sharon meant to the kid and how much they had come to depend on each other over the last few years.

They were still standing in the hall when the doctor came out, she looked at the two men in front of her; "Andy," he could see the sadness and burden in her eyes as she began to speak. "What happen doc?" he said with panic in his voice. "As far as we can tell one the blood clots burst around her heart, basically drowning her heart in blood, which in turn caused a massive stroke. We have managed to stop the bleeding and she's stable for the time being;" but it's not going to last though she's suffered so much damaged to her heart and lungs over the last few weeks due to the chemo treatments." he hung his head as he listened to her talk, "I'm so sorry andy we have done all we can for her."

Rusty had been listening to the entire conversation, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, he couldn't believe that he was actually going to lose the one person who had been there for him and loved him without ever asking for anything in return. He finally spoke, "Are you sure there isn't anything you can do for her?" The doctor looked up at him, "I'm so sorry rusty we have done all that we can," it's only a matter of time now," Andy was staring at the floor while she spoke to rusty he tried not to break in front of him but as he listened to the doctor the tears started falling. The doctor cleared her throat, "i'm going to leave you alone now and let you both process all of this." She started to walk away, "Andy you might want to let her other children know," "Thank you doc," i will call them now.

Rusty stopped her before she walked off, "Doctor Szermer," I just wanted to thank you for doing everything you could to try to save my mom," "Rusty, i'm sorry that it didn't turn out better." she spoke softly.

Andy stood up, "Rusty i am going to go call emily and ricky and let them know what's going on." he walked to the elevator and made his way down to the main entrance and pulled his phone out of his pocket, he had several text messages from louie, the way he felt at the moment and his frame of mind, he would respond to all of his messages later.

He called each of her eldest children and broke the sad news to both of them. Emily immediately booked a red eye flight and ricky was on his way. After he hung up the phone he sat on the bench and stared up at the stars in the sky and let the tears fall. After a few minutes he made his way back up to find rusty still sitting in the hallway, "Rusty something wrong?" he was starting to panic. " I can't go in there andy, i can't see her like that. "I know what you mean kid, it's breaks my heart to see her like that knowing that there isn't anything i can do for her. But like the doctor said we need to spend this time with her. "Yeah i guess you're right andy, they both walked into the room,. She looked so frail she looked nothing like herself.

They sat next to her bedside, while several hours passed with the nurses and the doctor coming in and out. His phone buzzed in his pocket it was a text from rick and emily they had both arrived at the hospital and were on there way up to see their mother.

He met them both at the elevator, Emily walked out first, "how's she doing andy?" has there been any change? "I'm sorry Emily," there hasn't been any change. Ricky followed his sister and his mother's boyfriend down the hall to her room. "Hey guys i'm going to stay out here and let all three of you have this time with your mother." If any of you need me i'll be right here." Emily and Ricky both looked at each other and hugged andy as they walked into the dimly lit room. After sometime all three of them walked out into the hallway to find andy sitting against the wall with his head in his hands. "Andy" Emily gently touched his shoulder, "we are all going to go downstairs and see if we can find something to eat." He knew that they were giving him time alone with her, they all walked down the hall to the elevator and disappeared…

He stood up and made his way into the room and sat down the chair next to her bed and gently held her hand in his and stared at the beautiful woman before him the one who had stolen his heart, when he least expected it. "Sharon my love, you have to keep fighting and get better, I can't lose you now, we just found each other, he held her hand a little tighter as he spoke softly to her.. He prayed and hoped that she could hear him and that she would wake up but he knew that wasn't going to happen. " I love you sharon raydor,"

Several minutes later emily, ricky and rusty returned to find him sitting next to her bed talking to her and gently stroking her hair.

They sat and talked about all the good times they had and about the amazing woman their mother was. As they continued to talk they were suddenly interrupted by the beeping and chiming of the machines by the bed, before they could react the machines flat lined, the nurses came running into the room but it was too late she was gone. They all stood at the foot of the bed crying and holding onto each other as the nurses turned off the machines… The love of his life was gone.. What was he going to do…

The next few days passed like a whirlwind, They all decided to have a small service for her, just the people who meant the most to her. As he stood next to the open grave as they lowered the casket into the ground he felt his heart break a little more. What was he going to do now… He was utterly and completely lost without her.. But he knew that no matter what he had to continue to live his life and not give up, she wouldn't want him to live like that. But right now he didn't care he just wanted to give up and not go on. He made her a promise when she got sick that he would take care of rusty and her other kids. If it was the last thing he did he would keep this promise to her. No matter how much it broke his heart to live without her….


	11. Chapter 11

It had been two months since Sharon's death and they had all started getting back into a normal rhythm or as normal as they could without her… Emily and Ricky had gone back to their respective homes and had left Andy and Rusty to wrap up the final details. Rusty had taken sometime off from school to try and deal with his grief over the loss of his mother. Since the funeral Andy hadn't been coming around as often as he had before, rusty figured that he couldn't handle being around without sharon, out of everyone affected by her death it seemed to have hit andy the hardest. Rusty completely understood how andy felt, he felt like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest. He was fortunate to have been able to have said his goodbyes to sharon before she passed and that they hadn't left anything unsaid between them.

Rusty was busy cleaning out his mother's room and closet, He and his siblings had agreed to give all of her stuff to charity and to goodwill. They had each gotten what they wanted and were doing what she wished.. He had finally finished up cleaning and packing up her room and had moved into her closet to start taking all of her clothes and shoes to donate them. Emily had gotten what she wanted of their mother's and had agreed with her brothers to donate the rest of it. As he stepped into the closet he found a shoe box on the shelf he reached up and pulled it down, he held it as he walked over to the bed and sat down and opened the shoe box he was shocked by what he found inside it. He found pictures of him and sharon that he had never seen before and a few other mementos that she had kept that he or his siblings had given her over the last few years. He was about to toss the box into the trash when something caught his eye, he bent down and pulled out a white envelope with his name on it. He slowly opened the letter he recognized the handwriting instantly… He stopped in his tracks as he sat and stared at the envelope, he reached into his pocket and took out his cell phone and called Emily.

As the phone began to ring he started pacing around the room, As she picked up the phone he took a deep breath, "Emily," I found a letter addressed to me in mom's closet?" "What is it supposed to be?" He could hear her as she sighed through the phone, " _Well little brother," When mom knew she wasn't going to get out of the hospital this last time she decided to write each of us a letter, as a way of telling us how proud of us and how much she loved us." Ricky and i received ours a few days after mom's funeral. "Andy had given them to us," He wasn't sure how you would handle it so he stuck inside mom's keepsake box."_

He sat down on the bed, as the tears started flowing down his face, "What does it say Emily?"

" _Rusty, I have no idea," Each one of them had something different for each of us. She wrote one for me and Ricky, you and even one for andy," I would suggest you open it and read it, when you are ready of course." "Well little brother I've got to go and great for rehearsal, but i will call you later in the week and check on you."_

He hung up the phone and stay and stared at the white envelope. He took a deep breath and opened the letter.

 _My dearest Rusty,_

" _I guess if you are reading this that means that i'm no longer with you," But i don't want you crying over me sweetheart, "I'm in a much better place. I am sure you have a lot of different emotions running through your mind right now. That is completely natural., "You are my youngest son, you came to me later in life and we didn't have as much time together as i had planned on, but know that i loved you until my last breath." "My only regret is that you really will never know how much I cared about you and loved you," Or the way you've changed my life.  
_ " _I know there will be tears and hope you get past it and when you think of me  
You'll think of me laughing." Baby, Go on living, Don't stop loving. Please find something you can put your heart into and if the sun comes up, without me tomorrow. You'll be fine Just let it shine on you, If the sun comes up  
And I'm not there to hold you, Don't you let it cloud your faith  
Never lose your smile and hold onto your passion. Enjoy your life and the people in your life, life is very precious.. Make the world a better place. Remember that i will always be there with you. As i told you a couple of Christmases ago, "You can never have too many angels." "Just know i love you more than you will ever know and i am lucky to have you as my son and as a part of my heart."_

 _Love you always,_

 _Mom_

He folded the letter up and slipped back into the envelope as he sat on his mother's bed letting the tears fall, he heard someone knocking on the door, he walked into the living room and opened the door to find Andy standing on the other side, "Hey kid," he stood there looking at the man before him. "Hey, Andy" You want to come in?" Andy smiled at him, "Sure," He stepped to the side and let him come. The condo looked so much bigger with all of sharon's things gone, as they stood in the empty living room, they both could feel her presence in the room. Andy turned to see rusty staring at him. "How have you been rusty?" He asked as he looked down at his shoes. Letting out a sad sigh, rusty looked at him, "I'm doing ok andy.," "How are you doing with all of this?" he lifted his head and looked at the very grown up young man standing in the room with him. "I'm taking it one day at time to be honest." I miss her more and more everyday. "Yeah i know what you mean andy, I miss her too."

"Well i was just finishing cleaning up her room and getting the last minute things done." he said as he walked down the hall to his mother's room with andy following him. As andy stood in the doorway he remember all of the late conversations and all the love they made, He was startled out of his thoughts by rusty. "Andy, can i ask you something?" Sure kid what's up? "Did mom write you a letter before she died?" Andy looked at him for a moment, "yeah she did she gave it to me a few days before she was admitted to the hospital." "You must have found the one she wrote for you. Yeah i did i just read before you got here. "Oh," you ok? Andy asked as he laid a hand on rusty's shoulder. "She loved you and your brother and sister with everything she had." She fought like hell to get better but in the end her body just couldn't handle all of the stress. Rusty watched him as he started tearing up talking about sharon, "yeah i know she did." rusty moved around the room gathering the last few items and the shoebox off the bed he would go through it later on.. He looked up at andy, "Well that's all of mom's stuff," they both walked back down the hall to the living room. "Rusty just know that she was proud of you for everything that you had accomplished over the last few years. "I know andy," I know….. They both walked out of the condo for the last time both feeling better about their current situation. They Both knew they had an extra guardian angel watching over them now and they would both be alright…..

{The END}


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